Many women are afraid of their first mammogram but there is no need to worry. By doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared and, best of all, you can do these simple exercises in the privacy of your own home.
Exercise one: Open the fridge door and insert one breast between the door and the freezer box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible, and lean on the door for good measure. Hold the position for five seconds.
Exercise two: Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the concrete floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tyre of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Exercise three: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together. Make an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again (via the Web).