Loving couple standing under a tree

What Would Love Say?

When we are in conflict with our partner, it feels terrible: broken promises elicit betrayal, generosity of spirit turns to defensiveness, and a sense of belonging becomes desolation. Conflicts in relationship are unavoidable, and the way we deal with them is crucial. Some of us become masters at avoiding confrontation and vulnerability. Some of us continue to have faith in a more fulfilling love and persevere to try again. Most people find an in-between place, settling for a “take what you can get” attitude in the belief that all relationships are an awkward compromise. Soul offers a fourth solution: navigation from our Divinity.

Intuition is the voice of the Soul. Much of the work of navigating relationships depends on our intuitive ability to clearly hear Soul’s wisdom. Because the ego is quick to react or judge, it takes work, at times, to raise ourselves vibrationally to the love story of our intuition. And most of us live life as intuitive amateurs.

We may occasionally receive clarity through a dream, a sudden feeling of unease, or a ping in our gut. But the skill of truly hearing and heeding Soul’s wisdom requires becoming an intuitive pro. Instead of waiting for moments of intuition to come to us, we consciously build the intuitive muscle and learn to listen for specific answers to life’s questions whenever we need to, even if we are stressed or in crisis.

Soul dialoguing occurs when we create a two-way dialogue between our ego voice and our Soul voice, out loud or in our head. We start by asking a question from our perspective as ego, and then we listen with our intuition to receive Soul’s answer. Like any new skill, this may at first feel strange and challenging as our minds adjust to a different form of internal dialogue. But anytime we speak directly to Soul we strengthen the listening muscle of our intuition. Developing a relationship with Soul through intuitive dialogue helps the ego recognize, understand, and ultimately trust this new internal spiritual teacher. We believe the most efficient path to incarnating Soul is daily connection and practice with these techniques.

Soul dialoguing is a simple technique, but it also takes practice. To hear the voice of the Soul, we must be able to clearly discern what is ego (programmed narratives, society’s influence, fears disguised as love) and what is Soul. Recognizing and listening to the Soul guarantees connection to and an experience of love but also shows us how we are love by birthright. Fully embodying the vastness of love is a process that takes time — but after we acquaint ourselves with our Divine nature, trust in our internal genius grows.

Real Love or Assumption of Love

Asking the Soul’s advice, opinion, and direction brings Soul into our minds, hearts, and relationships. In applying Soul’s wisdom, we strengthen our own ego-to-Soul bond and eventually develop conscious Soul communion with our partners. One of the simplest and most profound ways to speak to Soul is simply to ask yourself: “What would love say?” These four magic words harness the power of intention to activate our inner remote control and tune us in to the station of love. When you talk directly to love, you engage your unique version of love — in other words, your Soul.

Yet as humans we often misinterpret the internal voice of love. Depending on our upbringing, we may misinterpret needy attachment or codependency as love. We may think love and our self-worth are based solely on our ability to provide for our partner financially. We may think love is solving every single one of our partner’s problems and consistently rescuing them from their own uncomfortable feelings. We may think love is staying in relationship till death do us part, even if we are desperately unhappy.

Soul corrects these misguided beliefs by introducing us to real love. Love is not fear based, clingy, or reactive; love is wholly and utterly complete, a force unto itself. To know love, we must take our human projections and limitations off love. We must come to the inquiry of love with an open heart, rational discernment, and a clean slate.

We know this sounds simple, but it can also be extremely challenging at times. In fact, we often see clients assume they are relating to their Soul when, in fact, they are engaged in an egoic interpretation or a mental assumption of Soul. This heady attempt does not work to actually solve the problems of the ego.

Many times people think about the Soul and assume that because they are clocking “spiritual hours,” they are engaging in a personal and direct relationship with Soul. But one is intellectualism, while the other requires vulnerability and courage. Talking about love is not the same as talking to love. When we talk to love, we engage directly with the universal energy that is birthing the incarnation of our sainted self. This is not a light task; it is one of destroying illusions. Ultimately our job is to weed out whatever stands in the way of love.

Soul dialoguing is a nuanced and disciplined approach to forging an intimate, accountable relationship with your higher self. When done correctly, it takes our own projections off love and reveals how love is greater than we could have ever fathomed. To do this well, we humble the ego, align with the energy of love, and become transformed by the Soul. This intimate relationship with love itself changes everything. There are no shortcuts. This spiritual skill relies completely on direct engagement with Soul. Soul must be accurately summoned to have its profound and lasting effects.

Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley are the authors of Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships and cohosts of the Holy & Human Podcast.  Together, they help individuals awaken and deepen their soulful nature within relationships. Visit them online at http://www.holyandhuman.com

Excerpted from the book from Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships. Copyright ©2022 by Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley. Printed with permission from New World Library — http://www.newworldlibrary.com.

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Written by Elisa Romeo, MFT & Adam Foley

Explore Wellness in 2021